This will be my 29th Christmas - 29 trees, at least 100 presents, thousands of lights and candy canes later and this is how I feel... OVER IT! I wonder why I feel this way? I used to love the Christmas season - the lights, nativity plays, carols, presents. I took out our little fake tree this year and faithfully wrapped it up with lights and hung our little ornaments that someone kindly gave us years ago. It does look quite magical, when the sun finally sets at 10pm and the darkness envelopes our house; the lights brightly casting their rainbow hues against the lounge wall. Why then do I feel like Christmas has been sucked dry of all its magic and has turned into this crazy xmas monster that needs more, more, more? Everyone is talking about what they need to get their child, how they are going to dress their table and how they can't find that perfect present because so and so has everything already. Even I spent an hour or two trolling Amazon and Trade Me to find the perfect present for my 2 year old. After I found a few great ideas, I still feel underwhelmed by xmas - the search for the perfect present, the time and money wasted decorating my house in red and green, the hours spent searching, buying and wrapping presents. Many families struggling to make ends meet are at this special time of year when they are under pressure to surprise their children with the newest video game, toy or trendiest sneakers. Organisations put together "toy drives" or "shoe box" collections to give children toys who have none. As it just wouldn't be xmas without a toys. They pull at our guilt ridden heart strings as we walk out of a store with bags full of toys for our families. Making us feel like we too must give toys to all the children in the world. Why can't I give all year round? Why must guilt be my motivation? Why am I so passionate about giving little poor kids toys, but too busy to make a real difference in the world? Why do I have to wait until xmas to justify buying a new camera, kayak or trampoline? Why can't I spread my spending and presents throughout the year? Why do I have to give "so and so who has everything", another something? Why can't I just write them a nice card and wish them well? And then there is the question of Santa Clause. All the children are talking about Santa and how they can't wait for him to bring presents. I overheard one precious little one telling another child how he spends all year with the elves making toys for good children to have on Christmas day. Without making this a debate about the big guy - why on earth do we teach our children that a man with a big white beard, has tiny elves that work with him and that he flies around on a sleigh giving presents to good little girls and boys? I like pretending, using your imagination, creating fantasy, but no way on earth am I going to teach my 2 year old that HE IS REAL. I was secretly pleased that when passing by a big massive blow-up version of Santa, I asked my two year old, "who is he?" She said, with a quizzical expression on her face, "a man?" Two days later, we then walked by a nativity display in the local pharmacy. My little darling came alive with wonder and squealed in delight, "It is Jesus!" "It is his birthday!" "Look at the Christmas!" There it is... the magic! The sparkle in her eye. With no sign of Christmas elves, presents or lollies. She is excited by the wonder of Christmas and the joy in celebrating a birthday. A birthday of someone who is dear to her. Maybe I am a grinch, maybe a religious zealot, but I am really struggling with xmas. When you take the joy of our Saviour's birth out of Christmas, all you are left with is a materialistic holiday based on getting and giving stuff. I am already too wrapped up in the holiday to go back now. I have picked out some nice presents for my family and have put up my tree. I just can't help but feel a little disgusted that I have once again been sucked into another year of thinking, "Hmmm, what do I want this year?" I guess I am being a grinch. And perhaps I have come to realise that Xmas just isn't for me. Christmas for me has a richer deeper meaning that brings a message of mercy, grace and peace for all. Forgiveness, healing, restoration and Joy, true joy. And that to me is worth celebrating.
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February 2023
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